Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Who is Uno Kudo? Gus Sanchez

Gus is one of those people that looks at you, and you can't tell right away if he likes you or not. At least, I couldn't. You can see the wheels turning behind his eyes, it can make you nervous, make you want to burst out, "What? What? What?!" and then he smiles. 

The man has a giant, wide and expressive smile. 

Once he smiles at you, you feel kind of silly. Because Gus is just a fun-loving, awesome guy. Of course he likes you. At least he likes me. I mean, I think he does, anyway. I'm sure he'd like you, too. 

Who is Uno Kudo? 

Uno Kudo is Gus Sanchez

If you could have any author write a blurb for your novel, who would it be?

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. would be nice. But he's dead. The bastard. There are critical superheroes like Jonathan Franzen or Dave Eggers who could write a blurb, and guarantee that I'll gain a modicum of notoriety on NPR. But I'd rather not be bothered with those 2. I like 'em, but not enough to say nice things about me. I could take the easy route and ask either of my friends Aaron Dietz or Vincent Truman to write a nice blurb for my novel, but they're not famous, and writing something nice about me would seem as appealing as an unwilling hand job. And I like my hand jobs willing.

So if I'm allowed to fantasize about a famous author blah blah blah, my choice would be Thomas Pynchon. Why? Well, first of all, he's famous. Second, he's a recluse, and having a recluse blurb your novel seems like a spectacular PR coup to me. Third, he's my favorite author. Fourth, well....I can't think of anything else. But I would imagine his blurb would read a little something like this:

"I love this novel as much as I love being photographed. What?""

What Inspired your Uno Kudo Submission, New Car Smell?

I was inspired to contribute to Uno Kudo because I see this as an opportunity to be part of something new, rather than go through the slog and humiliation of submitting your work to various other lit mags who'll reject you because you're not who they want to read. In other words, don't hate the literary establishment: be a new literary establishment. Especially one that publishes my work.

When he's not busy selling his soul to the highest corporate bidder, Gus Sanchez likes to pretend he's a writer. At the age of 17, Gus wrote his first manuscript, which was quite terrible. At the age of 39, he's written several more manuscripts, all of which are just as terrible as the first one. He's currently at work on another manuscript, despite his better judgment. How he convinced the good people at Uno Kudo that he's a writer is one of the greatest crimes ever committed. In his spare time...yeah, right...Gus likes to re-enact Civil War battles using origami, and woo unsuspecting strangers with his sensual trombone playing. He currently resides in Fort Mill, SC, with his wife, his young daughter, a dog, and a cat, all of who exasperate him on a daily basis. Wait...did I say "exasperate?" I meant "exhilarate."

Gus as seen by fellow Uno Kudo contributor, Joseph Penaloza: 

Gus Elsewhere: